The Intricacies of Listening Skill

Listening is a seven-stage process of

*Hearing
*Selecting
*Attending
*Understanding
*Evaluating
*Remembering
*and Responding actively with feedback

Listening is a master skill, but it is not always taught in schools. Like in any other skill, competency in listening is achieved through learning and practice. Listening is not always an easy skill to practice because of several barriers like,

• Worry
• Fear
• Anger
• Grief
• Depression
• Individual bias
• Prejudice
• Semantics
• Language differences
• Noise
• Verbal clutter
• Pre-occupation
• Boredom
• Shrinking attention span

These barriers make listening all the more complicated. If we have motivation to listen and interest to respond with verbal and non-verbal clues, this helps the speaker know that you are listening with concentration. Listening should lead to creative imagination of spoken ideas and thoughts.

Listening as we have just discussed is a passive skill. But it is an active process too. There are basically two types of listening. They are:

1.Casual listening
2.Focused listening.

Steps to Effective Listening

1.Maintain good eye contact with the speaker.
2.Relax and be attentive. Avoid distractions
3.Have an open mind.
4.Carefully listen to the words of the speaker and try to visualize what he is saying.
5.Do not disturb or impose your ideas on the speaker.
6.Wait for your turn to clarify the doubts.
7.Try to ask questions to ensure effective understanding of what has been said.
8.Express your feelings and give a regular feedback to the speaker after he/she completes the speech.
9.Do not ignore nonverbal cues like facial expressions, gestures and posture - in short, body language, which conveys meaning.
10.Do not get distracted by your own thoughts, feelings, etc. Avoid emotional involvement
11.While listening, focus on key words and issues.
12.While dealing with difficult people spend more time listening than speaking.
13.Treat listening as a challenging mental task.
14.Stay active by asking mental questions.
15.Use the gap between the rate of speech and your rate of thought.

Tips for being a good listener

• Give your full attention to the person who is speaking.
• Make sure your mind is focused.
• Let the speaker finish before you begin to talk.
• Listen for main ideas.
• Ask questions.
• Give feedback.

To listen effectively you should CARE for those you're listening to.

C - concentrate - focus on the speaker.
A - acknowledge - through body language - nod your head occasionally or say uh-huh.
R - respond - ask questions for clarification and interest.
E - empathize - share their emotions and feelings. Validate your partner